Late last year the family of a close friend of mine were involved in a road accident.
Luckily they all survived with minor injuries. The vehicle however was a write-off.
Being a blended family with 7 children, the money for a new vehicle just wasn't readily available. The insurance company were dragging their heels as there was a dispute to who was actually driving the other vehicle which caused the accident.
This lovely couple work several jobs each to provide for their children and to see them go through such hardship was heartbreaking. We weren't the only friends who felt that way.
That's when my daughter and I came up with the idea to put a 'Go Fund Me" page out there. Thankfully the couple agreed, through tears of gratitude and the page was launched.
Here is what I learnt.
Late last year I received a message - a song - “Going to the chapel, and we’re, going to get married” it came up in a public reading at a psychic medium show. Then numerous times since I've noticed the ten of cups (marriage card) come up in tarot readings, not just for me but family members around me.
I knew the universe was trying to tell me something.
My problem is I never wanted to get married again. I was still technically married to my ex (even after 8 years of separation) which I used as protection from having my partner of 7 years ask for my hand in marriage.
The reason I didn't want to get married again varied. From not wanting to change my name again, because changing it back was such a hassle with some organisations. To not feeling I fit into the religious definition of a marriage or even agreeing with the traditions of it. I don’t even wear jewellery and would rather spend the crazy amount of money for this kind of celebration on a new home or an amazing holiday.
So with all these reasons NOT to get married being hurled at my poor partner he was left thinking “we’ll just be partners forever then. One day I might get the chance to propose.”
Well I did get the ball rolling last year with my divorce. We had a funny situation where I thought my ex’s girlfriend would be legally permitted to witness the paperwork being signed. Turned out she couldn't so we drove to the JP’s office to get the signatures witnessed. Very weird but comforting feeling being able to sit in a courthouse with my ex and current partner chatting together, then having a laugh with the JP signing our paperwork. I'm sure it brightened his day having happy ex’s joke and muck around amicably.
So this is where my planning started.
I told my partner I wanted to be un-married for a while after my divorce came through, so don’t even ask me for at least a year.
I researched proposals on Pinterest. And read articles about women proposing.
I watched Leap Year staring Amy Adams – corny and terrible movie but I did watch it to the end.
I waited patiently for my divorce to be finalised and even though the court hearing was on 22nd February I didn't receive the paperwork until 26th February.
Universal wink (aka bonus help with my plan) - His daughter emptied her jewellery box and gave him back some old rings that belonged to him. After he tried them on I was able to sneak the one that fitted best into my purse.
I went ring shopping for a gents ring – nothing crazy expensive because he’s not one to wear rings either. More symbolic for the moment I planned to get on one knee and pop the question.
I charged my camera the night before.
I gave no hints or clues beforehand. In fact, I think he would say I was quite distant and cold before I asked the question. Hehe, all part of the plan.
Monday rolled around – THE DAY.
He was out rock-climbing with some friends that day while I was working from my desk at home. I’d torn a couple of pieces of card off a box and used a marker pen to write the messages:
“He said YES!”
Then hid the card in the camera bag.
When I finished work I asked if we could pop down the beach to catch the sunset and get some photos for my website. I want a nice one with both of us and a silhouette one too.
Still not suspecting anything he agreed.
Before jumping in the car I wedged the ring in its box between my boobs. I was now starting to get nervous. mainly because I didn't want him to guess before I got to ask the question.
Luckily he was unsuspecting.
We got to the beach and found a sheltered quiet alcove to set the camera up in. I had hoped to capture the sound of me asking and his response but it was too windy for this and the camera too far away.
I set the camera up and asked if he could stand in front of the wave so I could make sure we would be in shot. Almost ready to hit record and he calls out to remind me to get the remote. HA! I hadn't even thought of the remote I was just going to hit record, I can’t give any clues away now not this close. So I grabbed the remote, then hit the record button.
To be honest I was shaking more after asking him than at any time prior.
Luckily he was there to hug me tight and stop my shaking.
I still plan on keeping my name.
After considering tattoos and other options, I have found an earthly ring I would be happy to wear for a wedding ring.
His ring is one size too big but he can pick his wedding ring and leave the engagement ring in a drawer.
We plan on eloping sometime this or next year.
Our daughters’ response was priceless but I’ll save that for another post.